16 years ago today....

January 9, 1998: I had just been baptized in October. I was dating a guy who lived about an hour away. There was a dance that night at church for singles age 18-30. I knew that if I told my "boyfriend" that I was going to the dance that he would show up and be my shadow all night. I wouldn't get to meet anyone new. So I lied. I told him that I was skipping the dance. And then I went anyway. I had a major crush on my best friend's cousin. And another (smaller) crush on the missionary who baptized me. (I know...that's wrong;) So I went and danced with several guys. Then, a girl came up to me. She said, "My cousin is just sitting against the wall. If he asked you to dance would you say yes?" Sure-I replied. A few moments later, he asked me. I thought he had gorgeous eyes, but I wasn't thinking "This guy is going to be my husband someday." I was a city girl. He was from the sticks. I was a bank teller. He was a rancher. I had one sibling. He had 8. I thought he was a nice guy, just not really my type. The next morning, my phone rang. It was a girl's voice. "Hi. This is Brande Chapman. You met my brother, Greg, last night at the dance. And I was wondering if you would want to go on a double date with him, me and my boyfriend?" Sure-I said. That night was cold and icy. They came to get me in a pickup truck. We headed to the Shrine Mosque for the "Tough Man Competition". Romantic, right? The sidewalks were slick and Greg was sort of "skating" on them. I thought, "Who is this guy and why am I on a date with him?" As we entered the Shrine, we passed the Concessions. Greg asked me if I wanted a beer. Really?!?! Why am I on a date with him? (He was kidding, but I didn't know it at the time). The fights were very boring to watch. Greg didn't speak to me the whole time. I reached up and felt his shoulder. He asked me why. I said, "I am just seeing if it's comfortable, because I'm about to go to sleep." We left the Shrine and headed to Golden Corral----(again, a VERY romantic place). We ate dinner and they dropped me off at my house. I STILL was not thinking that I was going to marry this guy. I wasn't even really thinking about a second date. He asked me out again. I said ok. He continued to ask, and I continued to say yes. Somewhere along the way he wanted to know about me and the other guy-Brian. I told him that Brian was a nice guy but I couldn't really see myself with him long-term. Greg said, "Well, I think you're pretty awesome." I think we both agreed that we wanted our relationship to go somewhere. Several dates later in the wee hours of the morning (February 8th into the 9th) he told me that he loved me. I've had lots of guys use those words before but they never felt right...until Greg said them. It was then that I knew I would someday marry him. And coincidentally it happened exactly 4 years later (February 9, 2002). It's so crazy to think back on that time--How far we've come and what we've been through. I wouldn't trade a single second of it for anything in (or out) of this world.

"These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive"

...and these are the moments I'll remember all my life. I've got all I've waited for...and I could not ask for more." This song keeps finding its way into my head. I have been keeping a Gratitude Journal and I gotta say, it has helped me so much. It allows me to really reflect each day on what I am grateful for and truly appreciate all the great blessings I have been given.

I have had these incredibly overwhelming feelings of love for my family. I am moved to tears pretty much daily when I think of them. Last night Greg said that Olivia's Primary (Church) teacher had called him on the phone. He said he wanted to share a special story with Greg. During their lesson the teacher asked the kids to say what they were thankful for. Some of the kids mentioned somewhat trivial things. Olivia raised her hand and said "I'm thankful for my mom. Because she does everything for us." The teacher said that he wanted to share it because he thought it was very sweet. He also said that Olivia is a great kid. As Greg was telling me this I just started bawling. I haven't always had the greatest relationship with her. I'm so mad at myself for wasting time (years even) disliking her. I always loved her, but at times I really did not LIKE her. But, I started praying about a year ago that I would be able to love her the way that Heavenly Father wants me to and SEE her the way that He would want me to. It has helped tremendously. More than just my perception of her has changed. She has changed. But possibly because my attitude toward her changed. My love for her has more depth than I ever thought possible. She is truly my hero. She is an incredible young lady. Someday I want to be like her. My heart is so full it feels as though it may burst. If you're not already, may I suggest that YOU keep a gratitude journal too? It will change you...and maybe it won't change things around you but it will change the way you see things.

Russians (and Ukranians) say the darndest things.....

I don't know why, but this morning I have been thinking about some of the funny things Greg's European siblings have said. And it's STILL funny. I just had to share. Sorry. Natasha would come in the kitchen and if she liked what she smelled she would say, "That stinks good mama!" If the meal was a little too spicy she would state, "This has too much 'paper'in it." Then there was Ryan. We had a loaded pizza and asked him if he would like some. "No thanks. I don't like weggies." I would reply, "Nobody likes weggies, Ryan. Do you want some pizza?" The Russians had a hard time with words that started with 'V'. Weggies, Wacuum, Wodka...All VERY entertaining. Probably the funniest story-one that made me laugh until I cried-was that of Toinia. We were out at mom and dad's place in Ash Grove. Everybody was talking about this story that was in the news about a GIANT wild grizzly bear that had been killed. Greg and his brothers were holding out there hands in front of them saying, "His PAW was THIS BIG! Can you imagine?!?" They just kept talking about how big his paw was. On and on they talked. Then suddenly Toinia piped up, "His Fawser (Father) was only that big? How could his fawser only be that big ". It took a second for me to get what she was talking about. The way she understood it was that his PA was only that big. I just about died. And once everybody else got it, there was a roar of laughter. Sorry Toinia and you other kids I'm not making fun of you. Love you all. If you have other funny stories, please share!

I Saw God Today

Rather felt God really. Last night for our Family Home Evening Lesson , we talked about "Writing it down". The lesson was based on Elder (now President) Henry B. Eyring's talk "O Remember, remember" from October 2007 General Conference. He talked about how he would write down EVERY SINGLE DAY the ways in which he saw God working. He did this so that he could remember the blessings he was given daily, but he also did it so he could share them with his children. It's a really great talk. So today I am writing how I felt God (ALREADY! And it's only 9:00 a.m.!!!) I was dropping the kids off at school. I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but I have been singing Christmas songs. This morning it was "O Holy Night". After the kids got out of the car I continued my singing. I got to the part where it states, "Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother." And then "In all our trials, born to be our friend." How absolutely AMAZING! To think that He was BORN to be our FRIEND! I was overcome with emotion. I felt God today. Have you?

Your mom is going to "The 'H' word"

At bedtime the other night, Olivia started telling me about a girl at school who confided in her and stated that her mom is a lesbian. She was adopted by her aunt and is not being raised by her mom. Olivia explained to Emma that her mom is probably going to go to the 'H' word. My jaw DROPPED. I stopped her right there. "WHAT??!??" I asked. Olivia continued, "Emma asked me where I had learned that and I told her at church." I interrupted again, "OLIVIA! You did NOT learn that at church!!!! You CANNOT tell ANYBODY that their mom is going to hell. Heavenly Father loves ALL of his children. He doesn't want to lose any of them! He hates sin but he loves everyone! He hates lies, stealing, and murder but He loves all of His children. And I'm sure Emma loves her mom!" Olivia was in tears. She didn't think it was a big deal, I guess. She realized now that she had hurt Emma and she felt awful. The next morning I calmly said to her, "I'm sorry I got so upset with you last night. I WANT you to feel like you can come and talk to me about ANYTHING. I don't want you to keep quiet about something next time because you're afraid mommy will go off on you. But you HAVE to know that GOD is LOVE. He's not about hate...at all." I am still so disturbed by this incident. I'm in tears right now as I type this. I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm somehow responsible for what she said to Emma. Where did she get that idea? I know they did not teach her that at church. And I'm realizing now that I don't think Olivia has said any more to Emma but I think she needs to. I think we will be having another talk soon.

Everything I need to know I learned from a James Taylor song....

So, I've been a fan of James Taylor since about age 10. I guess you can say I've been an old lady since age 10. My friend Kaileigh and I would make up dance routines to his songs. I remember going to my first JT concert in 6th grade. He is a lyrical musical genius. The thing is, I think he wrote a lot of his songs while high. I wonder if they would have been more (or as) awesome if he hadn't been on drugs. I don't know. A group of us went to his concert here in Springfield about 14 months ago (thanks to my parents for buying tickets). Earlier this month, James performed in Salt Lake City with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Hello!!! Could it get any better than that?!?! I wish I could have been there. But I was on youtube yesterday and found a few of the recordings. They were from audience members so not necessarily the best quality, but enjoyable nonetheless. One of his songs that is simple (yet profound) is "The Secret of Life". Starts out "The Secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...any fool can do it. There ain't nothin' to it." I so wish I could always just remember that first line--and APPLY it to my life. Isn't it a fact? The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time. Another mellow (yet deep) song is "Shower the People": Shower the people you love with love. Show them the way that you feel. Things are gonna get much better if you only will." I've been feeling particularly down (and under appreciated) lately. And when I listen to this song I think, "I can't change anybody but myself. But I can make everybody else feel special by showering them with love. Check JT out on youtube!

Happy Birthday Adley McKay!!!!!

Blah Blah Blah, I can't believe Adley is ONE YEAR OLD. Everybody says this, but time is just going way too fast for my liking. I haven't blogged in like FOREVER. But I wanted to write a little about my "Sweet Petite".

She's not what I would consider a "happy" baby really. She has happy moments but she's not all smiles and giggles like some. But she makes me happy, that's for sure. She LOVES to eat. Her favorite things are yogurt, ice cream, cottage cheese, peaches, bananas, eggs, guacamole, beans...She is a tiny little thing but she eats like a horse. It's really entertaining to watch. She will help Greg with his lunch every day-even if I just fed her lunch. When she hears crinkling paper or plastic she thinks that it is food and will come crawling to you or reaching for you-whoever you are. She gets excited on the baby food aisle at the store and pretty much anywhere that she recognizes food.

She LOVES her brothers and sisters and gets excited when she sees them after school. She has taken a step here and there but is too afraid to really try the whole walking thing.

She loves purses and jewelry and dolls.

She has finally figured out the whole "Sleeping through the night" gig. Usually, she sleeps about 10-12 hours at night. Last night was a bit of a different story. She has this cold in her eyes and a snotty nose. For the first time in her life I was up in the night with her...meaning I couldn't get her to go to sleep and stay asleep. Of course I've been up with her in the night before but she usually just goes back to bed. At 1:20 this morning I heard her crying so I went in to get her. I was holding and feeding her at the exact time of her birth one year ago-1:21 a.m. So I didn't mind (but MAN am I tired!) I finally gave her some Ibuprofen at 3:45 and she's been asleep since. And she is also getting a little better at taking naps. It's amazing how that works! The kids are at school and she can actually sleep! She can clap her hands, do the "Indian" call with her mouth, Fake Cough, and "snap" her tongue on the roof of her mouth. She loves playing peek-a-boo and she can REALLY dance a jig whenever she hears music. It's seriously cute. When she really wants something she holds her hands out in front of her kinda like, "Come here!" SO ADORABLE.

She's adorable, fun, playful, curious, and has lightening-fast hands.

After everything that we went through, all this baby had to do was live. Everything else is just a bonus. I am beyond ecstatic about having her here with me. Happy Birthday to my precious Adley. I am completely smitten and SO in love.