WARNING: Blog post not for the squeamish.

Aren't families wonderful? I mean, where else can you find puddles of diarrhea on the floor, have your leg peed on, listen to someone attempt to burp their ABC's, pick up a sippy cup of "Chocolate Cottage Cheese" that has been hidden for a couple of weeks, have one child yank another child's hair out by a handful, etc. etc. etc. AND everybody STILL loves each other at the end of the day? No where, I tell you!

So Zane has been doing pretty good about peeing in the potty, only having accidents at nap time and night time. He had even started standing as he peed, just like the big boys. He would stand at the toilet's edge and he had pretty good aim. Then Olivia had the bright idea to tell him that if he pointed his "turtle" using his hand, he would have even BETTER aim. That's when he figured out that when he controls it, he can pee pretty much anywhere he wants! (which is not always IN the toilet). I was in the bathroom with him the other night as he was about to do his business. I leaned over to pick up something off the floor and...that's odd...I feel something warm and wet on my leg. Wait a second! He is peeing on my leg! That's just great. Thanks Olivia. It wasn't broken, but you "fixed" it anyway. You are always coming up with solutions to problems that we don't have.

Pooping is an entirely different story (and if anybody reading can offer me some advice here, I will gladly PAY YOU your asking price). For some reason Zane is terrified of pooping in the toilet. He did it one time in January and it was no big deal. After that he refused. He would wait until I put a diaper on him for bedtime and go then, or go first thing in the morning before I got the diaper off for the day. Now he can be found frequently jumping up and down, screaming "OW, my bum hurts!!!!my tummy hurts!!!" He would refuse to go at all unless he was in the shower, or outside, or in the VAN. Big giant nasty messes. I finally figured out that I have to watch him like a hawk and then when I saw him actually start to PUSH, then I have to rush him to the potty and even then, it's still a fight. A couple nights ago it worked out pretty good. After he finished I asked him if it was scary or if it hurt and he said no. I asked if his tummy and bum felt better. He said yes. I asked him if he was going to go poop in the potty tomorrow. He said yes.
So last night, he did his tippy-toe-my-bum-hurts-my-tummy-hurts dance and when I knew that he was about to let loose, I grabbed him and ran him upstairs. About the time we got to the top of the stairs I felt something on my leg. Turns out, he couldn't hold it any longer and it wasn't just your average run-of-the-mill bowel movement, it was diarrhea. And since I'm running with him, it's not just in one puddle, it's from the top of the stairs, through the dining room, down the hallway and in the bathroom floor. I ripped off his shorts, threw him in the bath and commenced to cleaning the mess. I started in the dining room, then saw the pile at the top of the stairs. While I'm cleaning, Zane has gotten out of the bath. He is walking towards me licking his finger and saying, "Mm, this tastes like chocolate milk." I'm almost 100% sure that he stuck his finger in one of the bathroom diarrhea puddles and decided to sample a little smackerel. I can't believe I am sharing this with anyone. It is making my stomach turn just to think about it today still. I of course explained to him that eating poo is very yucky and can make him sick.

And yet, after all that, I still love him and even gave him a kiss when he went to bed (but not before scrubbing his teeth and having him swish mouthwash).

Okay, here are some funny stories....

The pictures are of the kids in their new Easter Threads. Noah looks really happy doesn't he? I'm not sure why he was in such a funk. Olivia and Zane were high on life (and sugar)...Noah, not so much.

Here are some funny things my kids have said lately:
On the way to grandma's yesterday Zane stated that he was going to marry me.
Greg said, "If you marry mama, then I'll beat you up."
Then Zane replied, "Then I'll take Noah's pocket knife and cut you up into pieces."
Luckily Noah's pocket knife is lost, but I still told Greg to sleep with one eye open.

Then Noah was looking at a picture of himself, Zane and Olivia on the refrigerator. He pointed to Zane in the photo and said, "Oh, for a second I thought that was me. I was like 'man I'm ugly'."
It wasn't a very flattering picture of Zane, but I would never call him UGLY.

Oh, and then as Zane was crawling up on my lap he bluntly said, "Get your fat chubs out of my way!" I think that's because we sometimes call him that.

Saturday morning we took the kids to McDonalds for breakfast. When we arrived there was a long line in the drive thru. Olivia saw the sign that read "24-hour Drive Thru". She exclaimed, "Yeah, it is a 24-hour Drive Thru. Get it? It takes 24 hours to get through it!"

Oh and I forgot one more story! While shopping at JCPenney's on Saturday Zane went up to a little girl and said "NICE to meet you!" Her mom said, "Awww, how sweet!" He is pretty sweet-when he wants to be. I am blessed with some pretty awesome kids.

Our Bedroom

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Most of you have already seen these pictures, but I thought I would share them here as well, while we're talking about home-improvements.

We still need to paint the trim the same color as the trim around the windows (White), and replace the outlets, light switch, and covers. I am also working on getting some more wall decor and pretty things to place on the dressers to display. But so far, we really like it.

Our Landscape Job

Greg and I are toying with the idea of putting our house on the market and moving. Our street is pretty busy and noisy and it's a good time to buy a house, not-so-much a good time for selling one though. We have been doing some minor things to give the house some more appeal. And, if we decide not to move, that's okay too because at least the house will look nice for us.

So we first decided to work on "Curb appeal". Luckily, my husband is pretty good at landscaping since he used to work at a greenhouse and did some landscaping on the side. I think it turned out pretty nice. The only problem is those WRETCHED Sweet Gum Balls that are STILL falling off the 2 trees in the front yard. We can't cut them down because they provide very nice shade, but they are ALMOST more trouble than they are worth. Last night after dinner, Greg and the kids raked them all up into piles (which I need to bag). So I was able to get a couple of nice photos of the front of the house MINUS prickly gum balls.

Now we are working on getting rid of weeds and filling in the patchy grass(less) spots in the yard. Greg put down some weed and feed, and my job is to buy some grass seed so he can put that down too. Why do I have to do all the hard work?

Beans Beans

We had beans for lunch Sunday. I teased the kids and told them that they would be tooting through church. Zane started singing this song:

Beans Beans make you fart, make you fart, make you fart
Beans Beans make you fart all through the town.

I know, it's classy huh?

My Romantical Husband

Okay, in a way, Greg might get mad at me for sharing this, but at the same time, I think he really likes it when I brag on him. This morning I got a text:

"I love you sooooo much! Thanks for all you do!"

To which I replied, "I think you sent that to the wrong person....
This is your wife, Amber.
What do you want?
Just kidding, I love you more!"

(I was thinking he must want me to do something, and that was why he was being so nice.)

Following text (brace yourselves, it's good!)

"Right person-
Want nothing...but you-
Forever."

Awwww, how sweet. He likes me! He really likes me!

Zane is 3!!!!!!

What has happened to this little thing formerly known as "time". It almost doesn't exist anymore. For me, the last several years have flown by. 3 years ago today, I started having labor pains. It was about 4:30 in the morning when we finally decided to call my mom so she could come and stay with Olivia and Noah. We called Greg's mom and dad as well. They brought some of their girls to our house to relieve my mom from her baby-sitting duties so she could come join the fun at the hospital. If I remember right, my dad and Greg's dad had to work that day, so both of our moms were at the hospital when our new addition made his debut-and peed on Dr. Williams (just like his big brother had done 3 years earlier). Both our moms were standing outside the delivery room door and heard his first cry. He was born at 10:10 a.m. weighing 9 pounds 6 ounces. When I laid eyes on him, all I could think was, "HE IS SO ADORABLE!" I think he was the cutest newborn of my three kids, and my other two were pretty darn cute. Greg and I had not decided on a name for him yet. I really like the name Jonas (don't tell Greg but I'm glad we didn't name him that because of the whole Jonas Brothers thing). If I remember, it was later that night that we decided on the name "Zane". I think I love that name even more now than I did then. It fits him so well.

Right after I gave birth, I called Olivia on the phone and told her the news. She had a hard time believing me at first, but when I finally convinced her that I wasn't joking, she got really excited. She and Noah came to visit us soon after that. Noah was trying to give Zane a balloon. He said, "Here you go baby, it's your favorite color...it's green." A little later, Zane started to cry. Noah hopped to his aid and said, "It's alright baby, I'm right here." I knew then that Noah was going to make the BEST big brother in all the world. Even now, Noah will do pretty much anything Zane asks him to.

Olivia did a good job helping me take care of both the boys when we got home from the hospital. She would fetch diapers and wipes and burp cloths and clean clothes.

I don't think either of the older two have ever been jealous of their baby brother. They all just love each other so much and I'm so glad they're mine...forever. I love Zane so much. He makes an extra special and Zaney addition to our family.

Happy Birthday Zaner!